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Tips for talking to strangers

You don't want to just dive into talking to strangers. You're out of practice. You need to build up those curiosity and bravery muscles. You need to thicken your skin in case they snub you. You need to plan a few exit strategies in case of social suffocation.

Sure, when you were a kid you talked to strangers all the time. But you were trained out of it. So here's a five-step 'Taking to Strangers' training program. Tailor it to your needs. Stay at any level as long as you like. Some people spend months practicing, "Hi," in front of the mirror before they will dare it with strangers.

Keep this in mind. Humans like to connect with other humans. We are social creatures. It's taken a lot of television and fear to convince us to stop doing what comes naturally. You have it in you. So have at it…

Level 1

Glance up from your book to see who else is around. Say hello to the bus driver who has driven you to work for 6 years.

Level 2

Glance up from your book, catch someone's eye, and smile. Quickly, go back to reading. Smile at the bus driver, say good morning, and thank her as you get off.

Level 3

Comment on what someone near you is reading. Sustain a one-minute exchange. At the bus stop, say good morning to someone who has waited with you for the bus for years. Ask them how they are.

Level 4

Come to a Conversation Café. Only talk when you want to. Make up a bogus name if you need to. Promise yourself you can politely leave after half an hour if you are suffocating, angry, scared, bored, or sitting with people so much smarter or dumber than you that it's not worth your time.

Level 5

Talk. Listen, Learn. At will. Feel at home in your skin. Feel at home in the world.

 

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